Dogs have owners; cats have staff.
That’s now a familiar saying but just as accurate nonetheless
And while dogs can be trained to follow orders, sit up and beg, it is the rare cat that will even give such attempts the time of day. Which is as it should be.
Dogs are very good companions and serve their owners well – they fawn, retrieve, herd, guide, and guard – all very useful. But what we really need are role models for resisting conformity and for critical thinking.
Cats provide us with just the exemplars of independence of thought and self-possession we so desperately need. These are difficult times and the pressure to conform to crushing and dangerous doctrinal orthodoxy is heavy.
It was easier in Postman’s day – bucking conformity of thought was not so likely to endanger your friendship circle; contrarian thinking would not endanger your professional reputation, your career prospects, and even your job. It was unlikely that you would be called nazi fascist scum FoxNews watcher for holding rational opinions well grounded in science, tradition, common sense, and the evidence of your own eyes.
Diversity of thought is more essential than ever in a complex society but it has also become more dangerous. Fortunately, we have cats to show us the way.
Nowhere is this capacity of independent thought more obvious than in the cat’s use of pronouns.
Cats use first-person pronouns almost exclusively as they have little interest in others.
So – no need to ask cats for their pronouns. Should you be foolish enough to ask you would deserve the look of utter contempt at your crass stupidity. Cats will invariably decline to answer and may indeed not talk to you for some hours as you will have sunk many points in their already low estimation of your intelligence. (If you doubt me on this, just go find a cat, any cat, and politely ask. And remember to reward them appropriately for their emotional labor.)
The prime pronouns for all cats have always been I, me, and mine. Now, cats in regal mode may also use the plural – we and us and ours – and may also issue orders and commands in the second person. Example: “You – get me my dinner.” But their wishes and commands are usually expressed more directly using the first person – “I want my breakfast and I want it now.” Or: “Move over I need more room on the bed.” Or. “Open the door.”
Cats have little concern for others so have no use at all for third-person pronouns. The cat does not care about she/ her. Or he/ him and certainly not about them, their, zir and zhey etc.
It’s a well-known and proven fact that – unlike cats – we humans are weak-minded creatures more anxious to fit in and be liked than to tell the truth. We hate to admit it but we know it to be true and psychologists have proven it over and over again.
It is hard for an individual to hold fast to convictions and to resist the mentality of the herd. We imagine ourselves to be models of independent thought, as iconoclastic individuals when we are really just followers of fashion, afraid to stand out from the crowd, afraid of being declared beyond the pale.
Throughout human history, standing against the prevailing paradigm takes courage. To hold to the belief that 2 + 2 = 4 (when everyone around you says 5) is hard to do.
When the emperor is naked – but everyone around him is admiring his new finery – it takes someone very naive – or very courageous – to declare: “He is naked.” And so it is with gender ideology.
“The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” – 1984, George Orwell.
The evidence that this is true is all around us as we see hitherto independent-minded institutions and individuals fall for the prevailing ideology and deny reality. It is also backed up by decades of research.
In 1951, Solomon Asch devised what is now regarded as a classic experiment in social psychology using students at Swarthmore College. He administered a series of simple “vision” tests. There is an obvious answer to the question about the length of a line. But watch what happens:
This clip is not from the original 1951 experiment but from an acted version for TV in the 1970s.
If Professor Asch had tried his experiment with cats he would not have obtained the same results! Cats are natural authoritarians but do not kowtow to authority. And certainly not to ideological orthodoxy that runs counter to material reality. They do not attend church, do not toe the party line, and do not delude themselves with meaningless theory and academic mumbo-jumbo.
On the topic of pronouns – this was making the Twitter rounds last week.:
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The way that cat slapped that woman who introduces herself with what her pronouns are - why would you? - is hysterical.
That is a fascinating observation! Cats are known to be independent and aloof, so it's not surprising that they would prefer to use first-person pronouns and have little interest in others. It's true that cats may not talk to you if they feel you've said something unintelligent, but that doesn't mean they don't still care about you. They just show their affection in different ways!
Agreed. And what sensible person needs all that fawning anyway?
If cats could speak... Tobermory was devastating to all those human egos!
I think I need to be more of a cat person. It's probably very freeing not to mind what people think of you and to put yourself at the centre. But if cats could speak, would they argue? Btw I can't comment or like your post on Rattlebag and Rhubarb so I popped back here!
It's not the perfect analogy as cats and dogs are more complicated than I make them in order to make my point. It's just that dogs more often accommodate the needs of others and cats tend to be more concerned with their own needs and interests. It's not that simple but seems to me that women have been socialized to be "accommodating" and "inclusive' and "kind" and often to their own detriment. (Men in women's prisons being the perfect example of this. Of course all prisoners should be housed safely. But this does not mean "vulnerable" men should be housed at the expense of the safety of women. The accommodations for their safety should be made elsewhere - just as they generally have been in the past.)
But if cats could speak! Well - - given their habits of slinky about and visiting all rooms and the houses of the neighbours that could be "problematic"! "Saki "has a great short story on this when the cat Tobermory starts to tell the truth!
Josie, (miss Holford)
I enjoyed reading your Cats and Pronouns - Rattlebag and Rhubarb. Recently a Ragdoll cat adopted me, and I am now the legal owner.
I had to sign papers giving me the legal right to adopt this gorgeous cat, and surprisingly she has the same name, "mina", as indicated by her previous owner. How strange that this cat has my name. Anyway, "mina", the cat follows orders and instructions and "mina" plays "fetch" like a dog. I suppose there is always one exception to the rule. All, so very strange I thought, and contrary to your account of Cats and Pronouns! Just thought I would share this unique story with you.
Hi Mina (and Mina) -Well, there are always exceptions! And they do say that ragdoll cats are the most dog-like of felines. (This is usually said as if it were a good thing!) But it seems you have a wonderful animal companion and that is always good. Perhaps you can train her to cook dinner and do the dishes!
Wonderful to hear from you. All the best!
Like (sorry, clicking the "Like" button wouldn't work for me).
Thanks for trying mistermuse!
Being independent of the need for a thumbs up from others is good. Dogs seem more emotionally dependent on their owners. Cats much less so. Is it therefore more self protective to be a cat? Cats still seem to attract the same nurturing as dogs. Or is none of it that simple?
Haha - how is zir cat? I must admit that I have the same disdain for shonky pronouns as a cat has. Good to see you on Twitter, btw :-)
My brother, when he was at Harvard, was the one non-knowing person in the group and he absolutely refused to change his opinion for the group one. I think he said, he didn't know why he was with so many dumb people.
Like brother, like sister.
A delightful post, and a sly marriage of two subjects, I think. I'm reminded of a book someone loaned me years ago, which may have been called "The Language of Cats" and would be long out of print. In it cats are reputed to have a term for what we presumptuously call their owners: they think of us, the book alleges, as "can openers." I thought that was harsh, but entirely possible.
The inside back page of this week's NY Times Book Review features authors' cats, coincidentally. The fact that Edgar Allen Poe had a cat he named Catterina softened him a bit for me.
I don't know that book. I shall have to look it up.
There is this wonderful poem (ostensibly for children) by Rachel Rooney https://www.rachelrooneypoet.com/
Rooney actually knows a bit about the professional consequences of nonconformity. She ran afoul of the gender mafia after writing a lovely book for small children called "My Body is Me". She wrote an account of what happened here: https://wildwomanwritingclub.wordpress.com/2021/12/09/rachel-rooneys-exit-interview-from-publishing/
The Language of Cat
Teach me the language of Cat;
the slow-motion blink, that crystal stare,
a tight-lipped purr and a wide-mouthed hiss.
Let me walk with a saunter, nose in the air.
Teach my ears the way to ignore
names that I’m called. May they only twitch
to the distant shake of a boxful of biscuits,
the clink of a fork on a china dish.
Teach me that vanishing trick
where dents in cushions appear, and I’m missed.
Show me the high-wire trip along fences
to hideaway places, that no-one but me knows exist.
Don’t teach me Dog,
all eager to please, that slobbers, yaps and begs for a pat,
that sits when told by its owner, that’s led on a lead.
No, not that. Teach me the language of Cat.
Oh please let me become cat ...I need to practice.. to meditate on it..as cats do..or perhaps do not even need to.
I love that Rachel Rooney poem. It certainly captures "cat".