Gobbledegook, Gibberish, and Deep Joy

Are you all sitty comftybold two-square on your botty? Then I’ll begin.

Goldiloppers and the Tree Bearloders

If you’re a Brit of a certain vintage then you will be familiar with the delights of “Professor” Stanley Unwin.

Unwin was an expert in Unwinese – a personal mangled language worthy of James Joyce and Finnegan’s Wake. He was also a comic genius with an unparalleled ability to lecture on anything from astronomy and the arts to the internal combustion engine, Dr.Who, Elvis Presley – wasp-waist and swivel-hippy – and the Royal Family.

He fired the wannabe rock star Bill Wyman from his factory job, and he told totally twisted stories for children. Example: Goldiloppers And The Three Bearloders

Here’s a transcript of the opening:

Now, once a-polly tito. You may think that doesn’t sound quite right. But believe me, once a-polly tito it is, and in this case it was Goldyloppers.

Goldyloppers trittly-how in the early mordy, and she falolloped down the steps. Oh unfortunade for crackening of the eggers and the sheebs and the buttery full-falollop and graze the knee-clappers. So she had a vaselubrious, rub it on and a quick healy huff and that was that. So off she went, and  she went trittly-how down the garbage path, and at the left right-hand-side goal she passed a [sniff] poo-pom, it was hillows a humus heapy in the garbage!

Think of the opening of The Mookse and the Gripes, James Joyce’s re-telling in the Wake of Aesop’s fable The Fox and the Grapes.

Gentes and laitymen, fullstoppers and semicolonials, hybreds and lubberds!
Folly, folly.

The Arty Craft History of Art

Unwin’s lecture on the History of Art is a perfect example of his erudition and scholarship. You just have to listen to that voice and you know you are in the presence of one of the world’s best explainers of our cultural heritage. Deep joy!

This is cultural history fed through an absurdist blender – the history of art in the style of media scholar presenting history via nonsensical anecdotes and random linkages. It is a whimsical and genial parody of academic authority and pomposity.  And the authoritative, confident, cadence of the scholar! So certain in his own expertise – and so kindly dispensing knowledge over the radio waves. Again: Deep joy!

Carry-On Regardless

Here is Unwin in the film Carry-On Regardless -1961  the fifth of the thirty-one extremely silly Carry-On comedies. Sid James has started the “Helping Hands”  agency and is seen here reading the Greyhound Express with the usual cast of characters waiting for business when in comes Stanley Unwin.

Sid and the crew are baffled, but fortunately, Kenneth Williams is a linguist and can interpret.

Seasick and James Joyce

Turns out, Unwin discovered James Joyce while working in the Features Unit at the BBC during the war. A stint as a Royal Navy wireless operator ended because of chronic sea-sickness and he joined the BBC as a sound engineer.  As a morale booster during various “bangy-bangy, boomy-boomy’ situations, he entertained the Unit with improvised “performages” featuring such favorite phrases as “Oh, folly, folly!” and ”deep joy”. Apparently, many of the phrases came from the way his mother told him bedtime stories. 

Unwin said he had developed Unwinese by telling bedtime fairy stories to his two daughters.

“I found they enjoyed the stories even more when I used double talk. I was also interested in speaking like this because I had always been intrigued by the lack of communication between people when talking to each other and I realised that they listened far more attentively if you said something strangely”

He was given his own radio show and took to rendering sports commentary into ridiculous gibberish. He was soon in demand and started accepting offers as an “after-dinner speakloder”. As befits a verbal riffer, he was a great jazz fan –  his favorite instrument was the saxophobia, but he also enjoyed “Mozarkers and other composies of classicold musee”.

Unwin acknowledged the influence of Joyce and said that the phrase a ‘troutling stream’ in  Finnegan’s Wake opened the door to a new way of language.
Yes may we not see still the brontoicthyian form outlined, even in our own nighttime by the sedge of the troutling stream that Bronto loves and Brunto has a lean on. Hiccubat edilis. Apud libertinam parvulam. Whatif she be in flags or flitters, reekierags or sundychosies, with a mint of mines or beggar a pinnyweight.
But before I disappear for a few weeks down that rabbit hole, let me explain what led me to remember Unwin and the delights of his Unwinese aka “Basic Engly Twenty Fido”.

Coping with Edubable and Genderese

I’ve been reading about gender, gender identities, and the importance of pronouns on some very serious educational websites. Now that can be hilarious, disorienting, and disconcerting in equal measure.
One of my ways of coping is to apply the N-7 technique of OuLiPo and replace every noun with the noun seven definitions along in the dictionary. This does help to restore a measure of sanity to the otherwise incomprehensible and risible. But I also wonder what “Professor” Unwin could have done with it.
Obviously: More anon on both those fronts.
And so to finish: Here is the wise professor explaining the history of music aka “Populode of the Musicolly”
They do in fact go back to Ethelrebbers Unready, King Albert’s burnt capers where, you know, the toast fell in and the dear lady did get a very cross knit and smote him across the eardrome excallybold. The great sword which riseyhuff and Merlin forevermore was the beginning of the Great Constitution of the Englishspeaking peeploders of these islone, oh yes.
Our folly folly times call for those who can speak in the great tradition of Edward Lear, Lewis Carroll, and Stanley Unwin. Oh yes, deep joy.
JosieHolford

View Comments

  • "Our folly folly times call for those who can speak in the great tradition of Edward Lear, Lewis Carroll, and Stanley Unwin. Oh yes, deep joy."
    Oh! Yes!

  • We (Yanks) had a dim echo of Unwin in a comedian named Professor Irwin Corey. But he never put me on the floor laughing helplessly, as did your demented "art historian." I must notify a certain artist-friend while this entry is still on top!

      • Meanwhile I recommended this post to an artist/lecturer friend and he got back to me: "This guy is hilarious. Maybe I should try conducting my art tours the way he speaks." Advisable to wait until April 1, I say. Meanwhile I had had no clue about Corey's social work. So thanks for that too, Josie.

        • No intended offense to your friend (or any other art expert / scholar who works to educate the rest of us) but, I wonder how many would notice if s/he were to deliver the lecture in Unwinese.

          • I was just considering suggesting that to him myself! What he Unwinizes a lecture and no one notices, they just clap politely as usual? Horrors!

          • Could be an interesting experiment although possibly bruising to the ego.

            It all has me thinking of famous literary hoaxes. And that's a whole other kettle of worms.

  • Lovely post! I have very fond memories of Unwinese from childhood. I also remember the Small Faces and Happiness Stan which Unwin narrated.

    • That small faces thing was a big deal at the time. I only have a vague memory of it though. have to go rediscover!

    • The defense of unfounded accusations might have to rely on that useful Latin legal term -- "res ipsa loquitur" -- the thing speaks for itself!
      Some things are their own parody.

  • I am also old enough to remember him on the radio and also re-rendered by our wonderful Art teacher in pottery club .

    • What fun to have a pottery teacher who could do that. Although I'm sure it might wear a bit a thin if overdone. I've taught kids with astonishing ability to talk rapid back slang and pig Latin. Impressive.

  • Absolutely wonderful ! I can't imagine why I have never heard of this clever and hilarious man.
    And to see a very young Kenneth Williams. You have made my day.
    Thank you Josie.

    • Thank you!
      And Kenneth Williams was one of those comics who kept you sane back in the day.
      And Esma Cannon was another of my favorites (born in Sydney.) Not to mention Charles Hawtrey and Hattie Jacques. What a gang!

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