Locked Out

In that moment, the speaker resolves the tension between alienation and acceptance—he sees himself from the outside and accepts himeslf, warts and all. 

The poem describes the experience of locking oneself out and the struggle to get back in. There’s the literal act of being “locked out” and the emotional sense of disconnection from, and eventual reconnection with, the inner self. Carver’s poem captures the estrangement from self and the wish to reconnect. It’s all very Donald Winnicott.

Winnicott’s theories—particularly on play, the “transitional object,” and the “true and false self”—are all relevant here. The speaker’s attempt to re-enter is both a literal act and a symbolic journey toward inner stability and self-acceptance. 

It Happened to Me

My first November in Poughkeepsie, I locked myself out of the house.

I’d just returned from an evening meeting in Newburgh, around nine-thirty. It was dark, chilly, and beginning to drizzle.. It was the end of a fifteen-hour day. I was dog-tired, and glad to be home.

Inside, I put on slippers, and was just sitting down with a cup of tea when i realized realized I’d left something in the car. I went down to the basement garage, and the door clicked shut behind me. I was locked out – in my slippers, without a coat, no car keys, and no phone. 

I’d only lived there a couple of months and didn’t know the neighbors. What to do? I started walking down toward Main Street, hoping to find a store open where I could call for help. Police? Fire department?

A few houses down, a man in a suit was heading out of a house. I approached him, tentatively, keeping back, aware of how I might be perceived. As soon as I started to speak, he picked up his pace, got into a car, clicked the locks, and drove off.  A reasonable response to being approached by a bedraggled stranger in bedroom slippers wandering the streets in the rain. 

On down the street and just ahead a boisterous group of young men hanging out, drinking beer, on a covered stoup. The music was loud and so were they. I walked up, and explained my dilemma. One of them called the fire department and handed me his phone. I explained, thanked him profusely, and headed back to the house. Within minutes my rescuers arrived, opened up the door and my drama was over..

Unfortunately the cup of tea was cold so i had to make another.

Looking Out, Looking In

I’ve been collecting Through the Window style paintings for ages. Here are few that came to mind, even if they don’t include actual windows. 

René Magritte’s The False Mirror (1929) – is not a literal window scene but this giant eye evokes the idea of seeing oneself as if from the outside.The huge isolated eye gazes outward suggesting a window rather than a reflection. It’s a surrealist challenge to question what we think we know and see. it disturbs the universe, inviting us to see the world anew

Edward Hopper’s Office in a Small City (1953) – A solitary man seated in an office, viewed through a large window, staring out perhaps in a moment of  introspection. We are the outsiders observing his moment of isolation, physically and emotionally detached from his surroundings and other people. The artist’s wife – Jo Nivison Hopper – described the painting as “the man in concrete wall.”

David Hockney’s Portrait of an Artist (Pool with Two Figures) (1972) – Not exactly a window painting but  the water acts as a boundary, symbolically mirroring the idea of looking through a “window” at someone submerged. 

Windows in the West by Avril PatonThis is the the view from the attic window at Athole Gardens overlooking Saltoun Street, Glasgow on a particlar evening in January1993 before the curtains were drawn. A sudden short heavy blizzard blew in and then was over and the sky turned pink. 

Thomas Dugdale Cantrell’s ‘The Arrival of the Jarrow Marchers in London, Viewed from an Interior,’ (1936) – 207 unemployed men began a near 300 mile march to London to protest unemployment. Talk about privilege and poverty!

Lois Dodd’s Chair, Night Window (2016)  An empty chair by a window and beyond the yellow lit apartments standing out in the mysterious dark.