When I taught fourth and fifth grade at a school that didn’t assign grades, the topic occasionally came up among the students. On the bus, they’d hear their peers from other schools boasting about their As on tests for spelling or naming all the state capitals. Grades seemed like fun and useful bragging points.
We always closed out the week with a community gathering for some show-and-tell, the Friday Story, and whatever else needed to be planned, said, shown, and shared. One Friday I told them they could go home with a grade for their work for the week if they wanted. I brought out a large hat and told them that it was full of scraps of paper that had grades on them. They could pick out their grade. And so they did. Most of the grades were As and B+s because – why not? But I had put in a couple of Ds and Fs.
I gave the hat a good shuffle and up they came to dip their hands. The kids who picked an A gave a whoop. And then I saw the faces of the children who picked a D or an F. That stupid letter on a scrap of paper had meaning and weight. At least for a moment. I didn’t try that stunt again.
There was no lasting damage of course, but it was a reminder of how seriously children can take the things we say and do.
When teachers walk and talk, children watch and listen
Given that – how much more seriously should we take it when we suggest, or imply, to children the entirely false notions that they may be born in the wrong body? Or that it is possible to change sex? Or that they should ignore their instincts and the evidence of their eyes and call a classmate or an adult by the wrong pronouns.
Think about the implications of saying any version of this:
First, it’s based on gender identity theory – an unfalsifiable belief system not based on any empirical evidence or truth. Put simply – gender is an idea in the head. It has no material reality.
Second, what on earth does it mean to “feel like a girl”? You either are a girl or you are not. Being a girl is not a feeling or a particular choice of clothing, hairstyle, toy, or activity. We know there are sexist stereotypes associated with girls (and boys) but that’s what they are – stereotypes and we should resist them. No one is born in the wrong body. There is no right or wrong way to be a girl or a boy. And those stereotypes do not determine the child’s sex.
Third, being a girl or a boy is not an “identity’ it is a biological reality.
No One is Born in the Wrong Body
Whether or not we think we have a gender identity, we all have a sex. One of two. We are all male or female. We didn’t choose it and we can’t change it. No one has ever has. There are two sexes, three sexual orientations, and infinite personalities. When working with children we need to have those basics in mind.
Our sex is written into the DNA of every cell of our body. It’s a serious thing to insinuate to a child that their healthy body is somehow wrong and to imply that they might require extreme, irreversible cosmetic interventions to relieve mental distress. This unscientific ideology of gender identity has no empirical basis and is doing untold damage to thousands of children and young people. If you are in any doubt about this go read the recently leaked WPATH FIles. (Warning- it might make your hair stand on end).
There is no right or wrong way to be a boy or a girl, a man or a woman. To give any credibility to the idea that children may be born in the wrong body is ideological, unscientific, and potentially dangerous.
Biologically, we are classified as male or female based on our reproductive anatomy. Males produce small gametes (sperm), while females produce large gametes (eggs). A male has a body designed to produce small gametes, sex cells, i.e. sperm. A female has a body that’s designed to produce large gametes or sex cells, i.e. eggs. This distinction between the two sexes has nothing to do with primary or secondary sex characteristics such as having a penis, a vagina, or breasts. It has nothing to do with having XX chromosomes versus XY chromosomes. It has nothing to do with feelings, clothes sense, and wanting to play with fire trucks versus little pink ponies.
Teachers should not be in the business of suggesting or implying that sex is a feeling or that people can change sex. They should also not be undermining basic safeguarding by requiring children to ignore their common sense and the evidence of their own eyes by asking them to use wrong sex pronouns for a classmate or an adult.
Gender identity theory is a theory and it has no place in school.
Gender makes no sense. None.
Ask anyone what they mean by it and then listen to what a muddle they are in. Ask the next person and get a different answer.
I have found your post wonderfully concise and clear. Thank you Josie. Sue
Perfectly stated and 💯accurate. Well done.
Josie…You could not put it more clearly . Foot binding, fat women desirable in 18thc, thin women in 20thC. red hair, make up, FMG…its usually women that are led to believe they are “wrong”. But not always. Sometimes its white supremecy. Religious intolerance. Burning at the stake, ducking chairs, witches. Dancing bears. Elephant man as called. Endless fear and cruelty.In times of fear “other”, divert, undermine. Its all wrong. Meantime take it out on the most vulnerable..Utter cowardice and cruelty. Teacher.. Leave those kids alone..
Generalisations express ignorance about the subtleties of human conditioning.
Hi Michael – I’m not sure I understand what that means. What are the “subtleties of human conditioning?”
Is it about the infinite variety of human personality and environmental differences?
What are the “generalisations”? Whose are they?
It is hard to conceive of anything more wicked than subjecting one’s child to the sort of torment you write about. It speaks of a total breakdown in the fibre of modern society. We had come to a place, I thought, where homosexuality was beginning to be widely accepted. I guess not. There are so many things for people to be terrified of in this world. Why are people so easily persuaded to be afraid of that which is harmless? And to go to such extremes to deny its existence in their child?
That “torment”‘ as you call it is standard operating procedure for many if not most elementary schools across the US and the English-speaking world. Such is the reach of this new ideology. (Minted in the 1980’s and on warp speed ever since.)
And remember – these are forward-thinking, progressive, child-centered, “good” schools promoting this. They claim – with much justification – to care about children and learning. This is all part of being diverse and inclusive.
This is the most insidious and pernicious school trend of my lifetime. Maybe for all time because the impact is not just on minds but also – in some cases – on bodies. It makes being hit with a ruler for not remembering the times table seem positively benign.
Thanks – as always – for reading and commenting.
One thing you have to remember – some parents will do anything to stop having a gay child. Look at Jazz Jenning’s and his mother based on that show. She has a little boy who like sparkly things and mermaids. Oh no! Can’t have that. I don’t want a gay child, a homosexual. He must really be a girl. And the next thing we see is the little boy mouthing her ideas and her adult langauge. And then we know what happened. We don’t know how this will all turn out in the end but we do know his surgeon was named in the WPATH files and also that he will probably never have a sex life. That poor gay kid was mutilated and for what? Television ratings.